1
00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:05,881
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
2
00:00:05,957 --> 00:00:09,154
♪ In living color♪
3
00:00:09,227 --> 00:00:11,787
- ♪ In living color♪
- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
4
00:00:11,863 --> 00:00:14,457
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
5
00:00:14,532 --> 00:00:16,523
♪ In living color♪
6
00:00:19,237 --> 00:00:21,296
♪ In living color♪
7
00:00:21,372 --> 00:00:23,602
♪ You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon ♪
8
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,075
♪ It's never too late
and it's never too soon ♪
9
00:00:26,144 --> 00:00:28,704
♪ Take it from me
It's a'ight to be ♪
10
00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:30,179
♪ In living color♪
11
00:00:30,248 --> 00:00:32,876
♪ How would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete ♪
12
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,180
♪ And all mankind danced
to the exact beat ♪
13
00:00:35,253 --> 00:00:37,346
- ♪ And at night it was safe
to walk down the street ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
14
00:00:37,422 --> 00:00:41,415
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
15
00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:44,120
♪ In living color♪
16
00:00:44,195 --> 00:00:45,628
♪ In living color♪
17
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:49,189
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
18
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,462
♪ In living color♪
19
00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:54,004
♪ In living color♪
20
00:00:54,072 --> 00:00:57,769
- ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
21
00:00:57,842 --> 00:01:01,972
- ♪ What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
22
00:01:02,046 --> 00:01:04,480
♪ How would you feel knowing
everybody was your friend ♪
23
00:01:04,549 --> 00:01:06,642
♪ From thin to thick
and through thick and thin ♪
24
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,845
♪ And egotistical trips
was put to an end ♪
25
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:13,482
- ♪ In living color♪
- ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
26
00:01:13,558 --> 00:01:16,891
♪ In living color♪
27
00:01:16,961 --> 00:01:20,419
- ♪ In living color♪
- ♪ You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon ♪
28
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,796
♪ It's never too late
and it's never too soon ♪
29
00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:26,735
- ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
30
00:01:26,804 --> 00:01:28,772
♪ How would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete ♪
31
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,705
♪ And all mankind danced
to the exact beat ♪
32
00:01:30,775 --> 00:01:34,609
- ♪ And at night it was safe
to walk down the street ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
33
00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:38,308
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
34
00:01:38,383 --> 00:01:41,216
- ♪ In living color♪♪
- [Applause, Cheering]
35
00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:44,254
Ladies and gentlemen,
Keenan Ivory Wayans.
36
00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:48,482
[Cheering, Applause]
37
00:01:57,068 --> 00:01:59,866
All right. Thank you.
38
00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:02,804
Thank you. I'm Keenan Ivory Wayans,
and this is In Living Color.
39
00:02:02,874 --> 00:02:06,139
- Thanks for being here tonight. Yeah.
- [Cheering, Applause]
40
00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:10,306
I'd like to say hello
to all our new fans out there.
41
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:12,645
Thanks for tuning in.
We got a fun show tonight.
42
00:02:12,717 --> 00:02:14,810
Before I get started,
you know what to do,
43
00:02:14,886 --> 00:02:16,911
say hello to my D.J., S.W. One.
44
00:02:16,988 --> 00:02:19,479
[Cheering, Applause]
45
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:25,389
Yeah. And to the Fly Girls...
46
00:02:25,463 --> 00:02:28,660
startin'over here
with Carrie Ann, Lisa,
47
00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:31,201
Cari, Michelle and Deidre.
48
00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:33,260
- Yeah.
- [Applause, Cheering]
49
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:37,670
I want you all to chill
while we get ill.
50
00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:39,733
Mr. D.J., do your thing.
Be right back.
51
00:02:41,779 --> 00:02:45,215
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
52
00:02:45,283 --> 00:02:47,274
♪ In living color♪♪
53
00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:51,882
♪♪ [Hip Hop]
54
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:59,195
Yo, yo, yo! Welcome to
the Homeboy No-Money-Down Seminar.
55
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:03,632
That's right. We gonna teach you how to
get paid with absolutely no money down.
56
00:03:03,701 --> 00:03:06,795
That's right.
I'm Willis, 'dis da Iceman.
57
00:03:06,871 --> 00:03:10,466
- Chillin'!
- Yo, our secret to success...
58
00:03:10,541 --> 00:03:13,533
is right here
in our new little booklet,
59
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,910
How To Make Mo'Money
Without Using Yo'Money.
60
00:03:20,718 --> 00:03:24,085
Might well you ask,
"Whose money should I use?"
61
00:03:24,155 --> 00:03:26,817
Who got more money then
they know what to do with?
62
00:03:26,891 --> 00:03:31,157
- The Gub-ment.
- That's right.
63
00:03:31,229 --> 00:03:33,390
And in part one of our booklet,
64
00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:36,490
we gonna show you how to use that money
from the government.
65
00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:38,694
For example, did you know...
66
00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:42,261
that food stamps cannot be used
to buy alcoholic beverages?
67
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:47,334
Hmm. But how could I use that knowledge
to work for me?
68
00:03:48,913 --> 00:03:50,847
I'm glad that you asked.
69
00:03:50,915 --> 00:03:53,509
Let's look at the chart.
70
00:03:53,584 --> 00:03:58,021
I go into a store and purchase
a pack of beer for, let's say, $3.99.
71
00:03:58,089 --> 00:04:00,580
Or even less,
depending on the security system.
72
00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:03,286
And I trade it
to some unscrupulous individual,
73
00:04:03,361 --> 00:04:05,295
such as this man right here.
74
00:04:05,363 --> 00:04:08,127
For, let's say,
$40-50 worth of food stamps.
75
00:04:08,199 --> 00:04:12,636
- Uh-huh.
- Now, he's easy to find.
He might even be in your family.
76
00:04:12,703 --> 00:04:16,070
And I take that money, and I find
a little fat lady named LaQuita...
77
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:18,131
with about 15 children,
78
00:04:18,209 --> 00:04:20,268
and I trade it to her for $25.
79
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,278
What does that equal?
80
00:04:28,219 --> 00:04:31,313
Yo, here goes one of
our many success stories.
81
00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:35,816
Anton "Boom Boom"Geno.
82
00:04:35,893 --> 00:04:39,021
$45,000 in three weeks.
83
00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:46,162
Luther "Big Head"Jones.
84
00:04:46,237 --> 00:04:50,469
$ 123,000 in six months.
85
00:04:53,511 --> 00:04:56,810
Yo, our Mo' Money Seminar...
86
00:04:56,881 --> 00:05:01,284
will teach you how to get over
like Rover the Casanova.
87
00:05:01,352 --> 00:05:03,377
That's right.
And in part three,
88
00:05:03,454 --> 00:05:05,718
we gonna show you
how to dress for success.
89
00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:07,724
Like, check out my man Willis here.
90
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:09,953
I know you're saying
he looks pretty fly like it is,
91
00:05:10,027 --> 00:05:12,518
but add this little
accessory right here...
92
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:21,237
Now he's got a look most businessmen
just can't seem to say "No" to.
93
00:05:22,373 --> 00:05:24,466
That's right. But wait.
Hol-Hol-Hold on.
94
00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:26,976
- You say, "Yo, homeboy."
- What?
95
00:05:27,044 --> 00:05:28,978
- "Yo, homeboy."
- "What?"
96
00:05:29,046 --> 00:05:31,981
- You drive a big Mercedes.
- Yes, I do.
97
00:05:32,049 --> 00:05:35,143
How can I drive
a big, crazy Mercedes too?
98
00:05:35,219 --> 00:05:37,312
Well, that's easy.
If you act now,
99
00:05:37,388 --> 00:05:41,654
we gonna send you
our exclusive Mo' Money Valet Kit.
100
00:05:41,726 --> 00:05:44,320
You just find yourself
a nice, fancy restaurant,
101
00:05:44,395 --> 00:05:48,331
stand in front,
throw on this red jacket,
102
00:05:48,399 --> 00:05:50,492
hold up this here sign,
103
00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:53,002
and you'll be amazed
at how many people just walk up...
104
00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:55,231
and give you a luxury car.
105
00:05:56,807 --> 00:06:01,506
Yo, some of them will even tip you
before turning over the keys.
106
00:06:03,681 --> 00:06:06,115
- [Pounding]
- [Man] FBI.! Open up in there.!
107
00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:08,947
Yo. You know what that means.
We're moving locations.
108
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:13,684
That's right. Yo, people are just banging on
the doors trying to get into on our seminars.
109
00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:17,387
So just send $50 to the Homeboys
care of this station.
110
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,429
- See you next time.
- Peace.
111
00:06:19,497 --> 00:06:21,488
[Pounding Continues]
112
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:31,270
♪♪ [Woman Singing]
113
00:06:43,220 --> 00:06:47,088
Hello, and welcome to America's
Funniest Security Camera Videos.
114
00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:49,991
[Laughs]
I'm Bob Saget.
115
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,995
I'd like to say hello to my daughter.
116
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,657
She's at home right now,
throwing up with the flu.
117
00:06:54,732 --> 00:06:56,666
[Laughs]
And I hope they're taping it.
118
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:59,032
[Laughing]
Only kidding.
119
00:06:59,103 --> 00:07:01,594
I already have that on tape.
120
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,902
Anyway,
as you know we get videos...
121
00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:06,772
from security cameras installed
all across the country.
122
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:11,781
Tonight we're gonna be taking a look
at a video sent by Ali Bahad Camcar.
123
00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:14,784
Ali works at a Lucky 11
convenience store...
124
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:17,787
and, boy, am I surprised.
125
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:20,187
[Laughing]
126
00:07:20,257 --> 00:07:22,851
Roll 'em.
127
00:07:22,927 --> 00:07:25,623
[Saget]
Just a typical night in the Lucky 11.
128
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,291
Little kid's buying a slushy,
a cashier short-changing him,
129
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,130
and plenty of surveillance
to cover the event.
130
00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:35,798
[Laughing]
Uh-Oh. Company.
131
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,603
Hey, man!
Ghandi, give me the money!
132
00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:42,168
- I'm sorry. Business not too good today.
- Oh, yeah?
133
00:07:42,246 --> 00:07:45,477
- How is it now?
- [Saget] That had to hurt.!
134
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,143
Give me...
Give me a chance to get it.
135
00:07:48,219 --> 00:07:50,585
Open it, Roach Motel!
136
00:07:50,654 --> 00:07:53,418
- Take it.
- Thanks a lot, Mahatma.
137
00:07:53,491 --> 00:07:56,221
- Ohhh!
- [Saget Laughing]
138
00:07:56,293 --> 00:07:58,227
[Saget]
Clean up on aisle five.!
139
00:08:00,231 --> 00:08:02,563
Merry Christmas,
mother... [Beep Beep]
140
00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:14,769
[Saget Laughs]
Wow.
141
00:08:14,845 --> 00:08:17,837
Good thing those paper towels
are superabsorbent.
142
00:08:21,952 --> 00:08:24,512
- Coppers! Lady, come here!
- [Saget] Uh-oh.
143
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:28,786
- Stay there. I'll kill her, man!
- [Screaming]
144
00:08:28,859 --> 00:08:32,124
[Saget] She coulda been a hostage,
but her heart wasn't in it.
145
00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:34,960
- [Saget Laughing]
- [Speaks, Indistinct]
146
00:08:35,032 --> 00:08:38,627
[Saget] Some days,
itjust doesn't pay to be a crook.
147
00:08:38,702 --> 00:08:40,693
[Saget Laughs]
148
00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:44,872
Ali, thanks for
that hysterical videotape.
149
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:48,207
You're a very brave man
and here's looking through you.
150
00:08:48,279 --> 00:08:50,213
[Laughing]
151
00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:52,977
Stop me or I'll joke again!
[Chuckles]
152
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:56,645
See you all next week on America's
Funniest Security Camera Videos.
153
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,415
[Laughing]
154
00:08:58,489 --> 00:09:01,583
♪♪ [Woman Singing]
155
00:09:07,045 --> 00:09:10,913
Ladies and gentlemen, the most
controversial female comedian:
156
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:13,042
Andrea Dice Clay.!
157
00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:15,086
[Cheering, Applause]
158
00:09:15,153 --> 00:09:18,145
[Audience Whooping]
159
00:09:22,928 --> 00:09:24,862
[Applause Dies Out]
160
00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:27,057
[Spits]
161
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:37,004
Yeah. You think that's easy to do
when you're stacked like this?
162
00:09:39,077 --> 00:09:41,341
How the [Beep] are you doing?
163
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:47,683
How do you like my jacket, huh?
164
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:50,847
[Audience Members Howling]
165
00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:55,916
It's the story of my life. I got more
studs than I know what to do to with.
166
00:09:58,096 --> 00:10:01,031
I'm telling you.
Guys can't get enough of me.
167
00:10:01,099 --> 00:10:05,433
They're always saying,
"Oh, baby. Oh, baby.
168
00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:08,962
I love you. I need you."
169
00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:12,535
Bulls... [Beep].
170
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:15,876
Just gimme the goods
and get outta here!
171
00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:18,108
I'm through with you!
172
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:27,321
I was doing this guy
in my dressing room...
173
00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:30,054
before I came out here tonight.
174
00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:36,298
He says to me,
"You hurt my feelings."
175
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:42,140
Well, excuse the [Beep] outta me.
176
00:10:42,207 --> 00:10:44,573
All I says was,
177
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:47,476
"Is that all there is, huh?"
178
00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:51,580
These [Beep Beep] guys
think they're built...
179
00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:54,084
like [Beep]-damned Adonis.
180
00:10:54,152 --> 00:10:56,245
You know what I mean?
181
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,587
Like this [Beep Beep] the other night.
182
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,058
He says to me...
183
00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:07,030
[Chuckles]
184
00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:09,533
He says to me,
185
00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:13,162
"Let me know if I hurt you."
186
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:17,371
If you hurt me?
187
00:11:17,442 --> 00:11:21,037
I says, " The last time
I saw something that looked like that,
188
00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:24,674
it had an eraser on the end of it."
189
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,718
[Man]
Andrea Dice Clay...
190
00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:29,379
at the Desert Inn
now through July 15th.
191
00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:32,548
If she doesn't cut 'em off,
you'll laugh 'em off.
192
00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:34,990
Yeah.
193
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:37,153
Eat [Beep Beep]
194
00:11:39,264 --> 00:11:42,256
[Cheering, Applause]
195
00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:47,901
♪♪ [Hip-Hop]
196
00:12:03,555 --> 00:12:05,489
♪♪ [Rapping]
197
00:12:22,474 --> 00:12:26,035
- Hey, mon!
- ♪♪ [Caribbean Steel Drums]
198
00:12:26,111 --> 00:12:28,636
[Announcer] It's time for
another episode of Hey Mon,
199
00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:31,944
with that hardest-working
West Indian family, the Headleys.!
200
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:34,417
[Caribbean Accent]
This is your Captain speaking.
201
00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:37,717
I'm also your baggage handler,
ticket agent, head steward,
202
00:12:37,789 --> 00:12:40,883
navigator, towel boy,
in-flight chiropractor...
203
00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:43,052
and me own copilot to boot.
204
00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:45,323
Welcome to Headley Airlines.
205
00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:48,059
I and my family are working
ourJamaican butts off...
206
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,465
to make your flight a pleasant one.
207
00:12:50,535 --> 00:12:53,470
Say hello to your stewardess,
cook, restroom attendant,
208
00:12:53,538 --> 00:12:56,803
rent-a-car agent, air-traffic controller
and engine mechanic...
209
00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:59,469
on the left aisle,
my lovely daughter Margaret.
210
00:12:59,544 --> 00:13:02,911
Hey, mon!
Cap'n says to shove yourselves down.
211
00:13:02,981 --> 00:13:04,915
All right. Irie!
212
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:08,680
And the rude boy serving the drinks
is my lazy son, Byron.
213
00:13:08,753 --> 00:13:12,348
Come here, boy.
What is this uniform?
214
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:14,358
Where's your
tan shirt and tie?
215
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:17,691
Pop, you know me no wear
no Yankee-style uniform.
216
00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:20,356
- Plus, this uniform give me authority.
- Authority?
217
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:22,491
Authority.
218
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:25,434
Authority?
You look like Isaac from the Love Boat.
219
00:13:27,839 --> 00:13:31,172
And we all know
he hasn't had a job in a long time.
220
00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:35,703
Put a drink up there and steer the plane
while I take care of the passengers.
221
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:38,874
- [Mutters]
- You lazy coconut blood clot.
222
00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:41,043
Get out of my sight.
223
00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:45,753
Hi, there.
How you doing there, tiger?
224
00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:48,418
- What a cute little fella you got there.
- Thank you.
225
00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:50,518
- How old is he?
- He's four.
226
00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:53,393
- Four years old, huh?
- Hey, hey. Look at that.
227
00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,456
Yeah.
What does he do?
228
00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:58,559
- What does he do?
- For a living, his job. What's his job?
229
00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:01,765
He's a four-year-old little boy.
He doesn't have a job.
230
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,001
Four years old
and doesn't have a job?
231
00:14:04,075 --> 00:14:07,010
Why, when I was your age,
I had a paper route, a Kool-Aid stand,
232
00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:09,103
I mowed the lawn,
I was a delivery boy,
233
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,171
a baby-sitter,
I worked in a coal mine,
234
00:14:11,249 --> 00:14:14,514
while I was simultaneously in the first,
second, third and fourth grades.
235
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:17,180
You better get a job
before it's too late, boy.
236
00:14:17,255 --> 00:14:19,689
Gimme back my hat,
ya lazy lima bean.
237
00:14:23,628 --> 00:14:26,222
Excuse me. There's a woman
out on the wing of the plane.
238
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:30,394
Don't get excited. It's just my wife
Hilda doing the laundry for her day job.
239
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:35,197
Hey, mon!
Oh, God, I love the wind out there.
240
00:14:35,273 --> 00:14:37,241
It dries my laundry
in one-third the time.
241
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,368
Yes, it does now.
242
00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:41,503
Godfreid, look it here.
What is this?
243
00:14:41,579 --> 00:14:44,377
I'm out there three minutes and lazy
Margaret's sitting down on the job.
244
00:14:44,449 --> 00:14:47,714
[Huffs] Look, Mama, leave me alone.
I've done all my chores.
245
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:51,722
Besides, I talkin' to this real cute
fella sitting next to me and all.
246
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:54,384
- What does he do now?
- Well, him from Trinidad.
247
00:14:54,459 --> 00:14:58,054
Him have 15 job and I think I love he.
248
00:14:58,129 --> 00:15:00,791
- Stop your tongue-waggin', girl.
Get acquainted!
- Okay, Mom.
249
00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,669
Uh, excuse me, Captain,
250
00:15:06,738 --> 00:15:09,673
is it necessary for this woman
to iron her clothes right here?
251
00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:13,700
- I'm trying to relax.
- Relax? Aren't you on a business trip?
252
00:15:13,778 --> 00:15:16,508
- Well, I'm on a vacation.
- Vacation from how many jobs?
253
00:15:16,581 --> 00:15:19,414
- One.
- One job?
254
00:15:20,852 --> 00:15:24,083
You lazy goat. You have some
big, great, big hairy nerve...
255
00:15:24,155 --> 00:15:26,487
sittin' up here in the business class
for hard-working people.
256
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,492
He should be back there
in the lazy class.
257
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,790
Now, but I purchased
a business class ticket.
258
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:34,696
Well, I'm gonna tell ya somethin'. Your
ill-gotten lazy money is no good here.
259
00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:37,360
This class is for hard-workin'
business people. Get out!
260
00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:39,369
Security!
261
00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:41,530
Security here.
262
00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:44,302
- Get him outta my sight, mon!
- Get up. You're under lazy arrest.
263
00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:47,368
- Get in the back, ya lazy goat!
- Lazy mon! Go! Go! Lazy mon!
264
00:15:47,445 --> 00:15:49,504
- Get outta here.
- That's right.
265
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:53,540
Pop, Pop! We have to land the plane,
but the landing gear is broken.
266
00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:56,610
Ohh. Well, we got to
land the plane anyway.
267
00:15:56,688 --> 00:15:58,713
- Crew, prepare for manual landing.
- All right, Dad.
268
00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:01,156
- Nothing else to do, no?
- That's right.
269
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:04,218
Okay, Margaret,
you get under the nose.
270
00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:08,665
- You and I will get under the wings.
- Okay, Daddy.
271
00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:15,802
- Hey, mon!
- [Headleys, Simultaneously]
Got to land the plane!
272
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:18,172
♪♪ [Caribbean Steel Drums]
273
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:21,679
[Announcer]Join us again
for Hey Mon with the Headleys.
274
00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:25,839
♪♪ [Rapping]
275
00:16:40,965 --> 00:16:44,958
♪♪ [Continues]
276
00:16:57,515 --> 00:17:00,040
- [Giggling]
- Oh! Children!
277
00:17:00,118 --> 00:17:03,110
- Children, are you having a good time?
- [Toot]
278
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,213
- Yes!
- Yeah!
279
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:07,224
Happy birthday, shnooky-ookums.
280
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,920
- [Horns Blow]
- I have a surprise for you!
281
00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:12,929
- [Cheering]
- Homey the Clown!
282
00:17:12,997 --> 00:17:15,932
- [Cheering Continues]
- I told you the clown! I told you!
283
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,993
[Children]
♪ Homey the Clown
Homey the Clown ♪
284
00:17:20,071 --> 00:17:22,005
- Yay!
- Homey! Homey! Homey!
285
00:17:22,073 --> 00:17:24,940
- Sit down!
- Homey! Homey! Homey! Homey!
286
00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:27,000
Homey! Homey! Hom...
287
00:17:33,084 --> 00:17:35,052
I said sit down.
288
00:17:36,754 --> 00:17:40,349
All right, kids.
I'm Homey the Clown.
289
00:17:40,425 --> 00:17:43,861
- Y'all ready to have some fun?
- [Children] Yeah!
290
00:17:43,928 --> 00:17:46,362
- What y'all want me to do first?
- Ooh ooh!
291
00:17:46,431 --> 00:17:50,265
- Homey, Homey, Homey!
Do a silly clown dance for us.
- What?
292
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:53,771
- [Children Cheer, Applaud]
- Yeah. Degrade myself, huh?
293
00:17:55,106 --> 00:17:58,234
I don't think so.
294
00:17:58,309 --> 00:18:01,039
Homey don't play that.
295
00:18:01,112 --> 00:18:03,580
- What else? What else?
- Ooh ooh ooh.!
296
00:18:03,648 --> 00:18:08,642
You could... Oh! You could slip
on a banana peel and fall on your butt!
297
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,484
[Children Laughing]
298
00:18:14,058 --> 00:18:16,151
Oh, yeah, fall down
and bust my skull open...
299
00:18:16,227 --> 00:18:18,661
and have my blood and brains
ooze out on the carpet...
300
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,994
so you can get a couple
of cheap laughs, huh?
301
00:18:21,065 --> 00:18:23,590
I don't think so.
302
00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:25,727
Homey don't play that.
303
00:18:28,239 --> 00:18:30,901
- What else?
- Oh.! Ooh.! Me.!
304
00:18:30,975 --> 00:18:34,968
Hey! Hey! Can we smash
a cream pie in your face...
305
00:18:35,046 --> 00:18:37,981
like they be doing to clowns and stuff?
306
00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:40,517
- Yeah!
- I think you got it backwards, son.
307
00:18:45,456 --> 00:18:48,254
Now, how do you feel about yourself?
308
00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:50,760
Mm. Totally dissed, Homey.
309
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:55,763
That's why Homey don't play that.
310
00:18:58,336 --> 00:19:00,270
All right.
How about a magic trick?
311
00:19:00,338 --> 00:19:02,272
- Yay!
- Yeah!
312
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:04,604
- Who got a dollar?
- I do, Homey!
313
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,441
Here you go, Homey.
314
00:19:08,513 --> 00:19:11,448
- All right. I'll fold it once.
- Ooh.!
315
00:19:11,516 --> 00:19:13,984
- Twice.
- Whoa. Ahhh.
316
00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:17,180
Now it's gone. Ta-da!
317
00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:19,246
[Horn Honking]
318
00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:22,225
Let's get something straight, kids.
319
00:19:22,293 --> 00:19:25,660
Homey may be a clown,
but he don't make a fool outta hisself.
320
00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:29,496
Yeah? Why...
Uh, why you become a clown then?
321
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:34,504
I guess it's because
I got so much love to give...
322
00:19:34,572 --> 00:19:38,008
and it's part of my prison
work-release program,
323
00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:41,273
so I got about five more year
of this clown crap.
324
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,179
Cartoon time!
325
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:49,550
- [Children Cheering]
- [Blow Horns]
326
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:53,022
Y'all pay special attention, 'cause
this one has a certain message to it.
327
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,025
Ooh.!
328
00:19:55,093 --> 00:20:00,531
Once upon a time, Homey the Clown
went to a fancy white restaurant.
329
00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:03,499
"Chez Whitey" was the name.
330
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:08,437
As always,
Homey gets a-hassled by the man.
331
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:12,876
He tells him that a tie is required...
332
00:20:12,944 --> 00:20:16,436
in order to eat in this establishment.
333
00:20:16,514 --> 00:20:22,146
So Homey says, " Man, get them damn ties
outta my face 'fore I kick your ass!"
334
00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:31,962
But unfortunately, Monsieur Snowflake
didn't quite hear Homey correctly.
335
00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:34,955
So Homey had no choice...
336
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,058
but to keep his word.
337
00:20:39,203 --> 00:20:41,671
- [Honking]
- The end.
338
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:46,869
So what have we learned
if nothing else, childrens?
339
00:20:46,944 --> 00:20:49,811
[Children, Simultaneously]
Homey don't play that!
340
00:20:54,552 --> 00:20:57,783
That's right. Now, let's sing
the Homey the Clown Song.
341
00:20:57,855 --> 00:21:01,518
- [Children Cheering]
- Repeat after me.
342
00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:04,551
- ♪ Homey the Clown ♪
- [Children] ♪ Homey the Clown ♪
343
00:21:04,629 --> 00:21:07,723
- ♪ Don't mess around ♪
- ♪ Don't mess around ♪
344
00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:10,597
- ♪ Even though the man ♪
- ♪ Even though the man ♪
345
00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:13,569
- ♪ Try to keep him down ♪
- ♪ Try to keep him down ♪
346
00:21:13,638 --> 00:21:16,664
♪ One day Homey will
break all the chains ♪
347
00:21:16,741 --> 00:21:19,369
♪ Then he'll fly away
but until that day ♪
348
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:21,378
♪ Homey don't play ♪
349
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:25,974
- I said repeat after me!
- [Repeating Out Of Synch]
350
00:21:26,050 --> 00:21:29,679
[Repeating Out Of Synch]
351
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,712
Very good.
352
00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:34,988
See. You...
353
00:21:35,059 --> 00:21:37,459
Y'all made Homey smile after all.
354
00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:41,598
- Happy Birthday, kid.
- [Honking]
355
00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:45,565
- Bye.
- Bye.
356
00:21:45,636 --> 00:21:47,627
Homey! Homey!
357
00:21:47,705 --> 00:21:50,139
[Applause, Cheering]
358
00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:53,243
All right.
359
00:21:53,311 --> 00:21:58,578
Before we go, we wanna introduce you to
the lady behind the steps on the show...
360
00:21:58,649 --> 00:22:01,083
and her assistant right here...
that's Rosie Perez.
361
00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:03,017
[Whooping, Applause]
362
00:22:03,087 --> 00:22:05,021
On the right here.
363
00:22:08,092 --> 00:22:11,186
Uh, what can I say?
We had fun doing it once again.
364
00:22:11,262 --> 00:22:14,026
- If you're there next week,
we'll be there too, so until then...
- Peace!
365
00:22:14,098 --> 00:22:16,089
Peace.
366
00:22:59,143 --> 00:23:01,873
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
367
00:23:01,946 --> 00:23:03,937
♪ In living color♪♪